![]() ![]() I hope whatever you guys decide on I hope she continues to have fun with her new friends and to stay a kid as long as she can. Although the mom in me worries about unwanted attention but if there is an adult in the area who can be trusted to watch over those young girls then I don't see the hurt.īut if you don't feel comfortable letting her wear a full on thong bikini then maybe compromise and look at something on the cheeky side like hipster kind of style vs a full on thong bikini. And it sounds like it's the cultural norm like you said for that area. I partly agree that if she's confident in her own skin don't deny her wishes solely on what others will think. I will say that I struggled with and still do struggle with body dysmorphia mainly from my parents swearing that young ladies don't show too much skin and if you show too much it's no appropriate and would make a HUGE deal over it drilling it into my head. I love that you are trying to make the right choice by your daughter. (And of course at the same time teach our boys to not be sexist assholes.) At the same time, I acknowledge that in the real world we must equip and empower our daughters to make decisions knowing that bc we live in a messed up sexist world, women just need to be more cognizant of their safety than men do. Of course I want my daughter to wear whatever makes her happy and not feel shame about her body and most importantly, if something were to happen to never ever blame herself or her choice of clothing. But the reality is, we don’t live in that world so as a parent, it’s not easy. Yes in a perfect world, women and girls could wear whatever they want, drink as much as they want and should never have to fear about unwanted attention. I’m talking about this in a broader context, not this specific situation. I think it’s a more complex thing than just telling her she can do and wear whatever she wants. I agree with you but I can also see where OP is coming from in wanting to protect her daughter. I would love to hear from any moms who faced a similar choice, and I'd want to know what you chose, and in retrospect, do you feel you made the right choice or not, and why? If you believe a 13 year old is simply too young for a cheeky/thong bikini, I respect your opinion but this isn't really what I'm asking for. Would I be sending a bad message if I don't let her get one? Like implying there is something wrong with her, or her new friends? Or if I let her, is there some huge negative I haven't thought of? I am wondering what the pros and cons are to letting her get that kind of bikini. Partly to fit in with her new friends, also she likes to be trendy, and she thinks they are cute. So, of course my daughter desperately wants that kind of bikini too. The girls don't seem overly sexualized either, just normal middle school girls from everything I've seen. Plus there is always a parent somewhere nearby supervising. I asked another mom here if she ever worries about anything inappropriate, like them getting the attention of men, and she said no, thongs are so common it's not a big deal. I was kind of shocked at first, but it is apparently part of the culture here, and many girls wear them. The other girls wear extremely cheeky bikinis (either almost thongs or actual thongs). This being Hawaii, they hang out on the beach as much as I hung out at the mall around their age, which I think is healthy. I was worried she would feel socially isolated, but to my surprise and delight, she has made a group of friends, mostly girls from the islands. My 13 y/o daughter is doing a school program in Hawaii for several months, and we've been living here in an Airbnb (important for context, not bragging I swear!). If you don't see your post in the new section, please message the mods. Want to share a blog? Please link it in our monthly blog thread, and don't forget to post it at /r/mombloggers! Downvotes are for comments that add nothing to the discussion. Please don't downvote opinions just because you disagree with them. We've been there (some more than others) and we want to help. Please feel free to post ANY question, no matter how "silly" or irrational you think it is. Offers or requests of assistance are not allowed and may result in a ban. Unkind comments or personal attacks may result in a ban. "Am I pregnant?" and preg test posts will be removed.īe Kind. Moms only, whether commenting, or posting. NO blogs or surveys outside the stickied monthly blog/survey post, absolutely NO promotions/advertising. We want to be here for other moms who are going through the same experiences and offer a helping hand. It may not always be pretty, fun and awesome, but we do it. ![]() We are moms mucking through the ickier parts of child raising. ![]()
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